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It's a love thing

Sooner or later you’re probably going to start feeling attracted to other people, and want them as more than just mates.

Love at first sight

You may feel instantly attracted to someone, because of their looks. Some people call this ‘love at first sight’. Or you have known someone for a long time, and suddenly start to see and feel about them in a different way. Some people develop a ‘crush’ and don’t want to let the other person know, or sadly the other person doesn’t feel the same way about them.

Romantic attraction is a strange mix of the physical and emotional. As these feelings are new to you, it’s hard to know what to expect or recognise what exactly you’re feeling. This is completely normal. Try to enjoy it!

Good and bad romance

As is true with other friendships, it’s really important to have a clear idea of what makes for a good romantic relationship before you get there. Then you can enjoy yourself and you won’t get hurt so easily if things don’t go to plan.

Ask yourself does your boyfriend or girlfriend:

  • give you confidence
  • respect you and your opinions
  • stop when you tell them you don’t want to do something
  • talk to you openly about what they think or feel, not just about you but anything
  • trust you and do you trust them
  • make the things you do together more enjoyable
  • treat you as an equal or boss you around

If you feel you:

  • can’t be yourself or talk honestly about what you think or feel
  • don’t trust your boyfriend/girlfriend to be honest with you or when they’re not with you aren’t respected
  • forced into doing or saying things that you may regret
  • are being controlled
  • are trapped...

then it’s time to exit the relationship.

There's no rush

And when the relationship starts to get sexual, it’s really important to feel comfortable about what’s going on and the speed at which things are developing. Take a look at the pages on sex and sexuality and take time out to think things through.

Top tips for romance

Watch illustration If you fancy someone, get to know them. Pick your moment carefully and try to be yourself when you start the conversation.
Hello illustration Compliments are always gratefully accepted, if they’re genuine and kind.

Heart illustration Love is a very strong emotion and can be hard to live with. Don’t let it rule your life.
Hello illustration How nice someone is on the inside is far more important than what they look like.

More helpful info

The BBC have some more advice about 'am I in love?'.

And here’s some useful help from the BBC for when someone doesn't feel the same way that you feel about them

If you want to post a specific question about relationships, then take a look at 'The Site'.

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